


At Close of Day

by stardustgirl



Series: Full-length Fics [10]
Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Ahsoka Tano Needs a Hug, Angst, BAMF Ahsoka Tano, Coma, Comatose Ezra Bridger, Dark, Dark Ezra Bridger, Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, Heavy Angst, Hurt Ezra Bridger, I’m sorry, Kanan Jarrus Needs a Hug, Post-Episode: s02e21-22 Twilight of the Apprentice, Rated For Violence, Self-Blame, Shadow Collective, Sighted Kanan Jarrus, Space Dad Kanan Jarrus, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-16
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-01-15 02:51:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18489793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustgirl/pseuds/stardustgirl
Summary: “Though wise men at their end know dark is right,Because their words had forked no lightning theyDo not go gentle into that good night."“Kanan!”The cry splits his ears and he turns, already running toward his Padawan.  He’s only seconds too late.Ezra falls."And you, my father, there on the sad height,Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.Do not go gentle into that good night.Rage, rage against the dying of the light.”|~~~|{Inspired by sheepfulsheepyard's Coma AU}





	1. Gone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sheepfulsheepyard](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepfulsheepyard/gifts).



> Part of the summary and title from “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas.
> 
> I’m super excited for this one guys...and yes, I was that anon who asked on sheepfulsheepyard’s Tumblr if I could borrow an AU idea to use for a full-length fic...speaking of which, a HUGE thanks is in order to sheepfulsheepyard for allowing me to use her Coma AU for this!! I hope you like how it turns out!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Only three of them come home from Malachor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter’s shorter than I’m hoping to make them in the future, but I felt like it was a good place to end, so here you are.

“ _Ezra!_ ”

“Kanan, _no!_ ”  Ahsoka pulls him back from the precipice with the Force, the only thing that stops him from jumping after the TIE.

He shakes her grip off, turning to her with a pained fury in his gaze.  “Ahsoka, why—”

His face turns ashen as he sees the _other_ reason for withholding him.

The Sith temple is about to blow.

“Kanan, we have to go. _Now!_ ”

“Ezra—“

“—will be fine until we can reach him.  He can hold his own. You should know, you trai—”

She’s cut off by a particularly loud rumble from the temple.  They glance back to see the ominous crimson and purple structure trembling, and with a start he realizes that the ground underneath them is trembling.

“Think that’s our cue,” Kanan muttered.  “We need to go!” He turns away from the temple, gives one last, long glimpse at the faint shadow of the stolen TIE as it blocks out the false starshine, and _runs._

* * *

Malachor, the mission, the temple, _all of it,_ none of it was supposed to have gone like this.

It wasn’t it wasn’t it _wasn’t._

As Chopper takes them out of the atmosphere, Kanan leans over and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes.

_“Kanan!”  He turns in time to see Ezra stumbling away from the holocron, now crackling and sparking._

_“I’m coming!”_

“Kanan?”

Ahsoka’s voice is quiet, but it still digs into his mind like a dagger.  You _failed him._  You _were the one who let Ahsoka make you_ leave him—

“Kanan!”

He blinks, forcing a nod as he finally registers Ahsoka’s concerned expression.  “Ye– yeah. I– I’m here.” He knows it’s not why she’s calling his name, but it’s the best he can think of at the moment.

“Are you okay?”  Her voice is quiet, too quiet.  Too soft. He doesn’t _deserve_ that, doesn’t _deserve_ her _kindness_ after he _let Maul take Ezra—_

“Kanan, I need you to answer me.”  Swallowing, he nods again, and makes himself respond.

“Yeah.  I– I’m fine.”  He falls silent, rubbing his eye.  “I...We just need to get back to base, make a plan, get him ba– back.”  His voice cracks, and the woman looks at him in sympathy. She opens her mouth to say something but apparently decides against it, shaking her head instead before turning her attention to her comm.

“Chopper?  How long do we have?”

The droid warbles an answer before hesitating, beeping a query.  Kanan catches the glance Ahsoka risks at him. He holds out a hand, and she gives him the comm.

“We’re getting him back, Chopper.  There– there was...an unexpected...variable,” Kanan says slowly, clenching and unclenching his empty hand.  “But we’re getting him back. We’re getting him back.” _I promise._  He spends the rest of their return trip in a sullen silence, trying to think of ways to get Ezra out.

Instead, however, he just keeps running through all the reasons Ezra needs to be rescued in the first place.

_The fear in the boy’s eyes scares even Kanan, and it only serves to make him speed up in his attempts to reach the kid._

_The holocron_ explodes.

He closes his eyes, exhaling in a quiet _whoosh._  The calming exercise doesn’t help, in fact it only increases his anxiety as he sees the boy’s eyes open again after he collapses, a yellow more vibrant and sickly than anything he’s ever seen.

_“Kanan...help….”_

_Ezra’s rasping whisper grates on his ears as he falls to his knees beside the boy, trying to pull him into a sitting position._

_“I’m not losing you.”_

“Kanan, he’ll be all right.  I know him, and I know you. I’m not sure what Maul wants with him, but he’ll be okay.  You trained him well.”

_The boy’s eyes crack open slightly, and he mumbles something incoherent as they flicker blue._

_“Master Jedi….”_

_He turns._

“You didn’t _see_ him, Ahsoka.  You didn’t– you didn’t—“

_“Ezra, I’ll be back, okay?”_

“No, but I saw _you._ ”

 _Me?  Me doing_ what, _failing him?_

 _I did_ nothing.

He sighs, massaging his temples as he stares at the floor.  The durasteel’s suddenly the most interesting thing he’s ever seen.

_The boy nods weakly, blue flickering in his gaze again._

_“Okay.”_

“Kanan—“

“I don’t want to talk right now.”

* * *

They arrive back at Chopper Base.

Kanan stumbles out of the _Phantom,_ expression carefully blank as he approaches Hera.

“Where’s Ezra?”

_Gone.  Kidnapped.  Stolen._

_Abandoned._

“We’re going after him,” is all the explanation he offers, passing her and walking to the center of base.  He can feel their eyes on him, but he can’t find it in himself to care. He’ll explain later, after he gets permission to leave.

Sato raises an eyebrow as he enters, nodding by way of greeting.  “Kanan. Where is Bridger?”

“He’s– gone.”  Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Sabine, Zeb, Chopper, Ahsoka, and finally Hera file in.  “We met– met a Sith, Darth Maul, and he– he took him.” Hera moves up next to him, squeezing his hand in comfort.

“And we’re going after him,” she adds, tone brokering no discussion.

Sato seems prepared to argue, but his gaze scans the group.  Upon lighting once more on Hera and Kanan, he only nods in answer.  “Your crew may go. Ahsoka, if I could request your continued presence here—“

The woman’s already shaking her head before he finishes.  “I’m sorry, Commander. It was my responsibility to keep anything from happening to Ezra as well, and Maul and I have some...unfinished business.”

The commander nods, a sharp, decisive movement.  “Very well, Ahsoka, Hera.” His gaze softens as it finds the _Ghost_ crew— _minus Ezra,_ he thinks with a twinge—once more.  “I know it isn’t much, but I sincerely hope you find him.”

Kanan nods, glad that Hera’s the one who speaks instead; he knows his voice would fail him otherwise.

“Thank you, Commander, but you’re wrong—hope is _all_ we need.”


	2. Chasing Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The others try to help, but he's not ready to accept it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think I've written that much internal dialogue for one character at once _ever,_ which is saying something considering the sheer amount of it that's in Hear the Falconer and Of Dust & Fire.

Of all the ways Maul had expected this day to go, this is...not any of them.

He spares the limp form beside and slightly behind him a glance.  The boy’s dark hair, plastered to his forehead, is longer than he’d thought at first.

It makes him seem much younger than he likely is, though his naivete doesn’t help at all.  If it wasn’t for the haunted look Maul had caught in his eyes once or twice while on Malachor, he would think that the boy had been living under a _rock_ for the entirety of his life up until today.

He had sensed the boy’s thoughts upon sighting the Emperor’s leashed monster.  In all honesty, it’s somewhat of a relief that the boy had fallen shortly afterward.  Though the fact that his future apprentice is currently in a coma is...concerning, it _had_ made their departure from Malachor much easier.  The timing of it had been perfect, too: the Jedi and Tano had been left to face Vader, and with the deaths of the Inquisitors—sadly not at the hands of Ezra, but they would get there—Maul had had the perfect opportunity to take the boy and depart.  There’s also the added bonus that Vader likely removed Tano and the boy’s former master from the equation. If he didn’t, then they might even have taken _him_ out.  If the Force decided to be kind, then maybe the explosion of the temple had killed them all.  Regardless of what transpired, the three of them could not all possibly leave Malachor alive.

If the boy’s old master _had_ survived, however...Maul would need to deal with that.  But he would. In due time, he would. The Jedi would come for Ezra, and Maul would be ready and waiting.  If Tano is the survivor...he’s not sure. She could come after the boy, but she’s also just as likely not to.  Tano has always been a wild card, one he’s learned to deal with over the course of many years. And he’s certain that _she_ has not had five long years spent alone in the dark to mull over their last encounter.

If _Vader_ is the survivor, he might pose a genuine threat.  Not so much for the boy, no; he’s just as likely to kill Ezra as to try and turn him, and either way Maul will be there.  For himself, however— _that_ is a different story entirely.  He has another base he can take the boy to if he feels the need.  Provided that the Shadow Collective has not, in his absence, decided to replace him.  Hopefully Qi’ra saw to that already, though he doubts that fact just as much as he believes it; Qi’ra’s just as likely to take his place as the actual shadow ruler of the Collective rather than the figurehead she’s overtaken Voss for as she is to hold down the fort only until his eventual return.

The boy stirs next to him and Maul spares him another glance.  A muscle jumps in his jaw, but aside from that, Ezra Bridger is silent, more still than a dead man if it weren’t for the shallow breathing.  Perfect. Now the boy can’t interfere, and Maul can deal with the matter of his episode upon reaching his main base.

All is as it should be.

* * *

Kanan slams a fist into the wall of the _Ghost,_ leaning his forehead against the durasteel as his breaths come in heaving gasps.  He feels a hand on his shoulder and nearly pushes it off before he realizes it’s Hera.

“Kanan?” she asks softly.

 _You left him.  You left him with that- that_ monster.

“Are you all right?”

 _Do I_ look _all right?_ he wants to ask.  Swallowing his bitterness, he nods shakily.  “I- ye- yeah Hera, I’m...I’m fine.”

“You can talk to us, Kanan.”

He should’ve known she would see through that.  Instead he shakes his head. “Thanks, but...not right now.  I’m not….”

She squeezes his shoulder, rubbing soft circles in between his shoulder blades as he closes his eyes.  “I understand, love. But we’re ready, whenever you are.” Hera squeezes his shoulder a final time before leaving, calling back in a teasing tone, “Just try not to make dents in my ship.”

He hears footsteps from the opposite direction of Hera’s.  “Do or do not.”

“There is no try,” Kanan finishes automatically, eyes opening as he pushes away from the wall to see Ahsoka, her expression unreadable.

“Master Yoda used to say that.”

“I know,” he answers, his voice tight.  “He was also the one who told us to go to that _kriffing planet_ in the first place.”

“He had good intentions—”

“You know, Ahsoka, I’m not entirely sure he did.”  He turns fully away from the wall, trying to suppress the anger that claws its way to the surface, trying to drown him.  “Ezra asked him for knowledge. You know what we got instead?”

“The Inquisitors are dead.”

“And my Padawan’s _gone,_ ” he snaps.  “We could’ve killed Vader, the Inquisitors, the Emperor himself, and you know what would still be the same?  Ezra would still be _gone._  No amount of Imps dying could _ever_ justify that.”  His voice cracks, and he pushes past her, intent on going to his cabin before he breaks down again.  The last thing he needs is for Ahsoka and Hera to decide he’s too emotional to do this.

“Kanan, wait.”  He can hear her following.  He ignores her. “Kanan—”

“We’ll be in hyperspace another twelve hours, Ahsoka.  I think it can wait,” he growls, reaching his cabin and keying the door open.  He slips inside, jerking his wrist out of Ahsoka’s grasp and turning to glare at her.  “Not. Right. Now. I need to work on a plan to get Ezra.” He shuts the door, annoyed that it doesn’t slam.

“Kanan, you don’t have to do this alone,” she calls through the door, voice muffled.  “We’re all with you, me, Hera, Sab—”

“And right _now_ I’m planning this part of it _alone._ ”  She continues speaking, but Kanan blocks her out, crossing to kneel beside his bunk and pull out the holocron.  He turns to place it on the small table beside the bunk and closes his eyes, opening the holocron. He can easily visualize the small cube rising, turning slightly as the corners detach.

“ _This is Master Obi-Wan Kenobi—_ ”

He opens his eyes, turns off the old warning with a slight gesture of his hand, and stretches his awareness throughout the holocron, trying to find the information he desperately needs.

The issue is that he’s not even sure _what_ information he needs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kanan's trying to avoid flashbacks to Depa and the Jedi Order wasn't too great at teaching its younglings how to deal with emotions in a healthy way rather than just bottling them up and ignoring them.

**Author's Note:**

> Join the Rebels Discord [here](https://discord.gg/A9aCvce)!


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